I’ve had to correct myself a few times since my birthday end of March when I think of being in my 50s. I’m not now as headed into the 60s. I have had to release that decade and it was a big one, full of so many different people places things. Still, it is a saying goodbye to a previous time of life and state of being. I am the same person but also not. Bless and release the woman in her 50s who began the decade in a new marriage thinking that was her life and what it would look like from that time on. Instead at 51 I was divorced and had moved to my parents’ house to regroup. Now almost 9 years later I am in that same house, with times in between of staying in my Airstream, and it has my furniture that I moved into the house 5 years ago when my brothers and I had to move my mom to assisted living. It’s a circle but also not a full circle.
In the vein of blessing and releasing and transitions, a physical letting go is happening this week. My late husband picked out a leather couch about 22 years ago. It has been the best couch, it’s a great napping spot. My son’s 6’7” frame fit on it comfortably. My mom liked to sleep on it when she came to stay with my kids even though she could have stayed in my bed. It has been the snuggled up spot for television viewing, a place for me to hunker down when I have been sick. It went well with the gold and red upholstered chairs and ottoman I had purchased 19 years ago after my husband died.
Props to the furniture makers, they held up. The upholstery started to show wear a few years ago if I am honest but the chairs were so comfortable. I couldn’t decide what to do. Maybe I didn’t really want to give them up. Or the couch. Even though all pieces looked tired.
I started looking for a couch over a year ago. I knew I would know the right one when I saw it. When my brother and sister in law found a sectional through the Joybird brand I took a look. It felt like a big commitment for a new couch. I haven’t bought one since 2002, a red twill sleeper sofa which I kind of wish I still had as it was great but I left it behind in my sold house when I moved to Fort Worth and a new marriage. I was able to try out different styles in the showroom and seeing a big swath of the fabric of the color I chose. Felt like a leap of faith. Yes I know it is a couch. This brown leather one at home has felt like a big hug for so long it wasn’t easy
I ordered a sectional in December and I am excited for it to arrive, really I am! But I had to figure out the chairs. The red and gold fabric would have been fine with the new couch but still tired and needing replacement. The hunt for fabric was on because I love the size of the chairs and ottoman. I wasn’t finding anything I liked as well in ready made styles. And I was overwhelmed. It’s time.
Fortunately I found a great fabric store with a great design person, picked out what I wanted, got the fabric ordered and from the time the fabric came in, less than 3 weeks later I had my new old chairs. They look great. It was strange but also wonderful to get them. All spiffed up new lease on life. What took me so long to come up with something new?
In 3 days the sectional will be here. My brother came by today to take a look at the leather couch to help me move it out of the way to the garage until I could figure out where it will go. While he was here he decided he will get his son to help him load it up and take it to his rent house. I am glad for that plan, it will get use for awhile longer. Right now it is on its side in the entry way as we were sizing it up for moving it.
Just like that it will be gone. Yes it is a couch, and they are recovered chairs but like my 50s, I have to bless and release them from what they were, how they served me well, but it is now time for something else. I know it will not be the last of the things, places, and even people, that will get a bless and release send off in this new decade. I love these newly recovered and colorful chairs, so different yet providing familiar comfort. I am counting on the new couch to be a hug in a new form. It took awhile to make the decisions but as usually when I do it turns out fine. I have made this house feel like mine, something I couldn’t have predicted. My 50s started out one way and ended in a way I couldn’t have predicted either.
I head into 60s with new living room furniture, giving me new views, colors, and a place to plot and plan new adventures. Out with the old and in with the new. New old me too. Glad for the couch hugs old and new.
One more piece of this why it was hard to make the change happen. Yes it is just furniture but the couch is one of the things we had that was of Ray. He watched sports there with our kids. It is hard to let go even all these years later. He will be gone 20 years in December and he would have been happy to know his couch held us so well for so long. He would have been 41 a month and half later if he hadn’t died. He didn’t get to see his 40s or 50s like I did. I got to see them from that couch. In some way I got to see these years for us both. In some way I will still do this for us both in my 60s and beyond.
The hugs from him and his couch will always be with me and us.
TX Travel Girl 